Breathe

Somedays are legitimately…. Like real….. Days…… you know what I mean? Like real.

My mind is racing and I seriously can’t even finish one task at a time because I’m already 10 tasks ahead in my brain. Laundry has been started, but not finished, cleaning has been started, but kids need to eat. Kids are fed, so it’s time to clean up, but the toddler is having a meltdown and NEEDS to be put down….. For a nap.

Ok, the toddler is napping, time to clean up the kitchen, or do the laundry, shoot, I forgot to put the garbage out, oh and I need to call the appliance repair guy. *Check my phone* and there’s a notice, library books are due back. Someone is talking to me, no wait, I think that’s three, four, fifteen different voices are talking at me. Somebody has to pee, that’s all I can make out. 

Now it’s dinner time. What am I making for dinner? Other children are now melting down because they are overtired, and “STARVING”. I would like them to meet a starving child someday, so they can a) share their food with someone who needs it more b) define starvation. 

But here I sit. 

Not prepping a meal, because I still don’t know what I’m making.

Not folding laundry, not tidying up the debris that covers every surface.

Here I sit because I need to find my peace. I need to catch my breath.

It can be so easy to lose these days. 

With so many noises, voices, messes, and legitimate needs arising at any given moment, peace, and oxygen can slip through the cracks. 

I sit down, lean back, and just whisper, “Hi Lord.”

He comes gently, not like the crashing waves, but like the rising tide that slips up the sand until it reaches my toes, legs, back, and arms, tickling my neck and spilling into my ears. There he is. A cool tingle of excitement and peace. The full-body immersion refreshes the soul.

He is with me. I breathe his presence deeply because I need to store it and stockpile it inside me. He is my strength, spirit, soul, and body strength. 

I think the greatest freedom we could ever realize in this life is to recognize that of ourselves we can do nothing. For real. Sit on that, chew it over, and embrace it. Throw your arms up to the sky and let every ounce of fear and failure fly off with the wind.

Without him, I cannot breathe, I cannot think, I cannot function, I cannot love, I cannot parent, I cannot be a wife, a friend, a daughter, a sister. Without him, I have no vision, no passion, no dream, no drive, no push, no reason to wake up in the morning. He is everything. Not just MY everything. HE IS everything. 

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will [o]ease and relieve and [p]refresh [q]your souls.] 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest ([r]relief and ease and refreshment and [s]recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. 30 For My yoke is wholesome (useful, [t]good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. – Matthew 11:28-30 (AMPC)

Breathe that deeply and find rest. In him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28).

It’s a very real day in my physical body, and my mind, but his presence is more real, so real it carries me.

Breathe deep.

Be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10)