Freedom from the spiral

Who else is done spiraling into self-destruction? What triggers it to begin with? I have shared so much about how absolutely vital it is for us to be renewing our minds daily to the truth of God's word, but guess what, we will all still go through seasons where we catch ourselves collapsing under the weight of unrenewed thought. It can be life-changing to recognize that we need to renew our minds, and of course, if we were to consistently and flawlessly renew our minds we would walk uninhibited in the goodness of God at all times.

But we are human, and I for one have a track record of spiraling into damaging decisions prior to discerning that I have unrenewed thinking in an area. Hind sight is 20/20, but how do we develop foresight, or learn to catch ourselves spiraling before we crash and burn?

For too long this cycle prevented me from speaking, sharing, or writing about how the Lord had truly set me free by teaching me to renew my mind because I felt like a hypocrite, and I allowed that shame to silence me.

The Lord really did set me free as I renewed my mind to the truth that I am not a victim, I am not subject to every thought and emotion that I have, and I am not responsible for other peoples reactions or responses. These were just a few of the lies that had bound me in anxious thought, self-destructive behaviour and waves of depression for the first 20 years of my life. I was really and truly walking free in my twenties, and thirties as I meditated on my identity as a child of God and co-heir with Jesus, and the gifts and blessings that belonged to me because of my true identity, peace and joy, being just a couple of those.

But then, I would go through a season of difficulty, pain, or trial, and think "I'm fine" through it all, only to crash and burn in the area of a relationship, or finances, or health.

Looking around at the rubble, I would know well enough to avoid thoughts of self-pity and a victim mentality, as I had learned that lesson, but I would ask "What happened? How did I get here? Where did I go wrong?"

I would get so swallowed up in over-analysis trying to solve the mystery of my rapid decline from "fine" to "hot mess", and every question would only turn up ten more questions. It often meant I was stuck in my mess for months at a time. Wallowing in the muck of confusion and frustration.

The truth is, none of us will ever be perfect! Shocker, I know. I really appreciate the way the Amplified Bible says in Romans 12:2 that we are to be "transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind..." It's a process. We must be actively renewing our minds. Taking a thought captive and bringing it into obedience to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5) must become as normal and habitual as thought itself.

But how do you know what you don't know? How do you renew an area of your mind that you don't even know is unrenewed yet?

This is where I found myself, before the Lord, wondering how I could avoid spiraling into unrenewed thinking again in my life. How did it even start? How can I spot it before it derails me and makes me look a fool?

Here's what the Lord revealed to me.

1) Kick that pride to the curb

Striving for perfection will destroy you.

1 Peter 5:5-8

clothe yourselves with humility, because

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

6 Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. 7 Cast all your care upon Him, because He cares for you.

8 Be sober and watchful, because your adversary the devil walks around as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 9 Resist him firmly in the faith,

If our focus is self-preservation we have already lost ourselves. The goal is to KNOW him, and in the discovering of him we discover who we are IN him, and this is what sets us free to BE that fully-realized version of ourselves.

We enter into his rest when we choose to put the whole of our trust on him, rather than in our own strength. We cannot fix what we don't see is out of alignment, he can. Surrender yourself into his loving hands and he will tenderly realign what's causing the dysfunction. This only happens through time spent with him, which brings us to #2...

2) Ask and be still long enough to listen to the answer

Do any other parents out there have kids who ask questions but don't listen long enough to let you answer? So does God.

It takes time and patience to show the Lord that his word holds weight with you. Put your phone in another room, go somewhere where all distractions are eliminated (or at least minimized to the best of your abilities, I know some of us have children).

Be consistent and persistent. God is always faithful to meet with you when you make the time and space to meet with him, but sometimes it looks different than we expect. Don't get frustrated, trust that he is working something out in you. Be patient, and keep making the time and the space to hear.

3) Fix your eyes on what he reveals and off of the things he doesn't

What always hastened my spiral was my desperation to figure out what was "wrong"? What had I done, or someone else done, what should I have done, what happened, what's wrong? None of these questions could be answered because they are subject to opinions and perspectives. I couldn't answer them, and therefore I couldn't find a stable place to put my feet.

But when the Lord speaks a word to us, when he highlights a scripture, gives an inner peace or downloads his purpose or plan, it brings us back to life because our feet find their true and firm foundation. Not only can we stand upon what he's spoken, but we can take steps forward. We find stability, and a path to follow.

There have been so many times in my life that the Lord has been faithful to speak to me specifically regarding my circumstances, relationships, attitudes, everything! Afterwards, I feel emboldened, ready to change the world, and strengthened even in waiting. It's humbling to hear the voice of God Almighty and to be reminded of how precious we are to him. It's empowering to be reminded that he's in it with us, walking beside us and holding our hands.

4) STAND

But then something shifts? Time passes, and of course we all have moments of wondering how long this is going to take? We might begin to feel like God is silent. We may be tempted to wonder again if we did something wrong. The test of time reveals what our default way of thinking is. Depending on our upbringing, or the voices around us, the questions that begin to surface will vary, but it's all just a ploy of the enemy to get you to step off the path.

This is where the spiral finds us. In all the things we do not know, and cannot explain, and that is where the enemy will find us also, a place of vulnerability, when our feet step off the path, the solid word that he gave.

For me it was as simple as falling out of the habit of daily reminding myself of what the Lord had specifically spoken to me. I began to arrogantly think that I knew it now, and didn't need to take the same time to meditate and declare it. The questions, the space of time, and my own impatience began to rise up like weeds along the path, grabbing at my ankles, and removing me from my sure foundation. Every question brought a new challenge to the truth I was standing on, until I was not standing on the truth anymore, but bound up by weeds.

Can you relate? Have there ever been moments where you have been frustrated or impatient, maybe even crying out to the Lord, "Why won't you______ already?"

Or is it only me?

This is a vulnerable place. Here our minds are unguarded and we are open to the answering of deceit. Satan is quick to oblige you with explanations that will pull you into self-pity and defeat quickly. We've all been on that roller-coaster, have we not?

Here's the thing! You don't have to ride if you don't want to. You don't have to take his answers, but better yet, you don't have to open up the question.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. - Ephesians 6:13 (MEV)

We are to put on our spiritual armor, and to stand! Another way to put that is, keep doing the first thing God told you to do until he tells you what else to do. Don't stop, don't get complacent, and don't take off your armor, or relax your stance. Keep meditating on his word, keep making the space to ask and listen, keep standing on the sure foundation!

When we are tempted to ask "God, why won't you___"

We must remind ourselves of what he has spoken to us and answer back, "He already did!"

He has already supplied all of your needs according to his riches, not yours. (Phil 4:19)

He has already supplied healing to all who will receive it. (1 Peter 2:24)

He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3)

If we will determine to believe until we see it, rather than to believe only when we see it, our faith cannot fail.

The promises of God are endless for all who will take the time to seek intimacy with him, who will choose to take him at his word, and meditate on it until we are fully persuaded of it, and begin to see it in manifestation. Ask him, listen fully, and stand on the word he gives, refusing to be pulled off the path no matter how long it takes or what questions arise. Get your eyes off of all the things you don't know and fix your eyes on what God has revealed to you.

We don't have to wait for heaven to receive all that God has provided. Today, we can boldly declare,

" I believe I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." - Psalm 27:13 (MEV)